Aug 27, 2023 5 min read

What Does It Mean to Be a Human?

What Is to Give Light Must Endure Burning. Suffering Ceases to Be Suffering at the Moment It Finds a Meaning.

Have you ever stopped to think about what truly defines a human being? In this article, I will try to uncover the very essence of being human – not within the limits of our physical existence, but within the wide scope of our thoughts, emotions, and the relentless pursuit of meaning.

In this context, I aim to shed light on three elements that I have personally found to hold deep significance in the realm of being a human being.

Decision Maker

To me, life is a complex navigation challenge without any singular, universal solution. Therefore, we continually engage in decision-making to navigate this world. From choosing the moment to rise in the morning to deciding on breakfast, and from deciding whether to stay home or socialize with friends – we make decisions every second. Human life is essentially a drama of decision-making. It's crucial to acknowledge that we possess the freedom to determine our actions and should take responsibility for the choices we make. Hence, when exercising the freedom of decision-making, it's crucial to remember that as much as you value your freedom to make decisions, you will also have to embrace the responsibility for your choices. Always remind yourself,

"If there is a Statue of Liberty in the South Pole, there should be a Statue of Responsibility on the North Pole"

Remember, you still have a choice when it feels like there is no choice. You can't control what will happen to you, but you can control how you react to that situation, and it will ultimately define the outcome of the event. I repeat, even if you can't control the circumstances, you can always decide what kind of attitude you are going to have towards the situation, and that will ultimately define who you will become. Viktor Frankl Said,

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."

One piece of advice I'd offer is to never let someone else make decisions on your behalf. While you can engage in discussions and seek suggestions to broaden your perspective, always be the one to make decisions for yourself and take ownership of both your choices and their consequences.

Similarly, if someone seeks your input for decisions in their life, never make the decision for them. Instead, show them the pros and cons, and let them make their own decision. Guide them to where they should look, but don't tell them what to see. I repeat, guide them to where they should look, but don't tell them what to see.

Different and the Ability to Be Different

To me, this is perhaps one of the most defining aspects of human existence. I've broken it down into two parts:

Different (Uniqueness), and 2. Ability to Be Different (The Capacity for Change)

When I say "Different" (Unique), I mean that every human being possesses distinct values, principles, goals, and worldviews. It's crucial that we actively explore and identify our values, safeguarding them to nurture our growth as unique individuals. Unfortunately, we often find ourselves entangled in societal norms, neglecting our values. As we mindlessly conform to these norms, we lose touch with our core values and individuality, falling into the trap of chasing artificial instincts (social norms). Ironically, we frequently encounter the advice "Be yourself," yet the tough reality is, how can you be yourself if you don't know who you are? Have you ever truly made an effort to understand your genuine self? To truly understand who you are, spend some time in solitude, away from external influences. Delve into your values, aspirations, fears, insecurities – most importantly, your identity. Approach yourself critically. Challenge why you're drawn to certain things. Why do you act as you do? Seek answers and relentlessly pursue them. Following societal norms is acceptable as long as you understand your reasons for doing so and they align with your values. Don't lose your uniqueness by blindly following the crowd. Break free from herd mentality. As John Grisham rightly pointed out,

"Don't compromise yourself - you're all you have."

The second part concerns the ability to be different – the potential for change. You can be a wholly different person in the near future if you genuinely commit to change. Rather than seeing yourself as you are now, envision who you could become. Often, we underestimate our long-term potential. If you adopt a habit and persevere, no matter how small it may seem, you will transform into a entirely different person within a year. Believe in your ability to change, believe in long-term goals, and incremental growth.

Happiness Is Not The Goal; Finding The Meaning Of Life Is

When I was a kid, every essay or paragraph I read in any book on "Aim in Life" was about being a doctor, engineer, lawyer, or teacher, etc. Then with the emergence of the internet, I saw people talking about a new goal. I saw the widespread circulation of an idea about the goal of life- Happiness. Nowadays, people say that their profession is not the goal of their life; happiness is the goal of their life. They want happiness at any cost.

However, this is also an inherently flawed and unrealistic goal. In fact, taking happiness as the goal of life can lead to many mental issues because, by considering happiness as the ultimate goal, people might strive to be happy all the time at any cost. They want to avoid all the sufferings and discomfort. Is this even possible? No, it's not possible, mainly due to the Tragic Triad – Pain, Guilt, and Death. These three elements – Pain (Suffering), Guilt, and Death – are omnipresent in our lives. We cannot avoid them. Therefore, it's not feasible to be happy all the time.

So, what should be the actual goal of life? Freud said the goal of life is pleasure, Adler said power is the goal of life. In contrast to them, Viktor Frankl stated that while pleasure and power are desirable, the primary driving force for a human being is Meaning. Human beings yearn for meaning. If we pay close attention, we can break free from the Tragic Triad by finding meaning. Suffering (Pain) Ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning. When we find meaning in our guilt, we can learn forgive us and grow from our mistakes. Each instance of death of someone within friends or family provides renewed purpose to our lives, reminding us to live with virtue and courage. The death of my father profoundly taught me how short and uncertain life is. When I sought to find meaning in his death, I found that instead of being depressed and miserable, I would strive to be the person my father would be proud to see if he were alive.

Therefore, happiness is not the primary goal of leading a good life. Finding meaning in life should be the aspiration of every human being. And happiness becomes the byproduct of discovering that meaning. Eleanor Roosevelt Said,

"Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product."

In conclusion, the essence of being human underscores the role of our decision making capability and courage to own those consequences. While happiness plays a role, it's the pursuit of meaning that resonates more deeply. Through our uniqueness, and individuality, we unravel the profound tapestry of human identity.